WITH THREE MOTHERS I WAS BLESSED

Here is the first story I will share with you. This was written just after my mother passed away, but less than a year before my dad passed. There are many earlier stories, but I will have to scan them into the computer before I can post them. I hope you enjoy this.



As a child, I knew nothing of divorce or “blended” families. Moms and Dads stayed married and collectively cared for their children, often with the help of grandparents, aunts, and uncles. This blissful ignorance probably caused me to take many things for granted. I’d always had it good, but didn’t realize just how good.

Until 1976 when my grandmother died, I always considered myself as having three mothers. That’s three and without the benefit of stepparents. This in no way takes away from the wonderful woman my mother was or the terrific job she did as a mother. She didn’t need help mothering us; we were just blessed to have my grandmother and my mother’s oldest sister to share in our lives. My Aunt Lora didn’t marry until she was in her 40’s and was always there for my brothers and me. She lived next door to us with my grandparents. It was such a perfect world – one that I wish everyone could have experienced. We moved freely between houses and knew we were always welcome and would be treated the same way in both places. None of this mushy, grandparent spoiling for my mother's children – we knew to behave no matter where we were.

I remember a friend walking home with me from school one day. My grandparent’s house was on the corner before my house. We stopped there first. We walked up on the front porch and I opened the door for us to go in. She couldn’t believe I would be bold enough to open the door without knocking. With disbelief and shock written all over her face, she stood there as I explained that it was my home too. Why shouldn’t I open the door and go in? Why would Mama and Granddaddy not want me to come in where I belonged? Of course, at that time I thought they were old and I was very innocent as to the ways of married people. I now know that they were younger then than I am now and I certainly don’t want to be considered old.

I used to dream of gathering all the people I loved the most into the same house and keeping them there with me forever. At that time my daddy was a strict disciplinarian with high standards. This didn’t put him too high on the list of permanent residents in my dream world. For many years he was completely off the list. I only allowed my mother, grandparents, youngest brother Kevin, and my aunts into this fantasy. Of course, my dogs and cats were there. What would a world be without dogs and cats? My brother Steve wasn’t allowed. He had the most annoying habit – he loved to drive me crazy. The madder I got, the more he laughed. He would tell me “You are so cute when you are mad – your nose wiggles.”

Mother, my grandmother a.k.a. Mama, and I had so much fun when I wasn’t in school. Mama had never driven so Mother and I took her everywhere. We went to the Sears and Roebuck in East Lake to pay some of the bills. There was also a little department store on 77th Street that Mama liked to shop in sometimes. Most often, we went to Roebuck Shopping Center after it was built and shopped in Penney’s, Grant’s and Woolworth’s. Mama bought her embroidery thread at Penney’s. It was always DMC and was in little drawers that the sales lady pulled out for her. She got her crochet yarn at Woolworth’s. She used Red Heart brand and I got to help her pick it out. It didn’t matter if they bought me anything or not. I just wanted to be with them and look at all the pretty things. On special days, Mama would dress up in her black dress, a hat to match, gloves and Sunday shoes and we would go downtown. We walked from Yielding’s to Loveman’s then to Berger Phillips. (My feet and legs didn’t hurt so much then.) I still have two little charge plates that were Mama’s. They are about the size of dog tags and are in little black, leather cases. I was so pleased when I found these in her old jewelry box.

Having three mothers was great. It was very rare that at least one of them would not be available. My aunt always worked out of the home, but Mother and Mama didn’t and this made it very hard for me to go to school. The four of us had a most special and unusual bond that has outlasted any other relationship I’ve had, except the one I finally developed with my dad. It took me a long time to realize what his motives were and even longer to appreciate them. We are very close now and I wouldn’t take anything for the things he has taught me – by word and by example. I still don’t agree with all of his methods, but we all have to do what we think is best and hope we are right.

Now I find myself not with three mothers, but motherless. We lost Mother on her birthday, March 9th, 2004. Going from three mothers to none is hard, but they prepared me well. I owe it to them to survive and try to give back to others some of the blessings God gave me by placing me in their care.

I know they are rejoicing and singing around God’s piano now, like we used to do around my piano. I’m learning to be an individual with a life of my own. I’m enjoying my very patient and tolerant husband and my stepdaughters. I’m redecorating the house and might even learn Spanish. It is difficult to fill up all the empty spaces my three mothers have left, but I am making progress. Sometimes, I even put the cell phone, otherwise know as my umbilical cord, down and leave it for minutes at a time. I spend time with Daddy and try to bring him as much joy as possible, as Mother left an even bigger hole in his life. We had a family birthday party last weekend. The house was full again, as it was in my youth. It felt good. I actually felt like planning and cooking and managed to enjoy myself.

My house has new life and will hopefully be filled with the joy of little feet one day. I have a new life and I’m learning to enjoy it in spite of my loss. Instead of helping Mother with family dinners and celebrations, I will be the “Grandmother in charge.” My three mothers may have passed from this house to God’s, but they will forever have a place in my heart and in my home.

Laura Blanton
Copyright July 14, 2004